Nostalgia
So...HI!
I was cleaning out my room today because, well, we are moving to another house, and I'm also going back to college in April. When I was cleaning out my room and putting things into boxes, I came across a few One Direction posters and a calender and plenty of other things that brought back the worst nostalgia I've ever had while going through old things. And by worst, I mean it was sad. It's happened once before, where I felt this sad nostalgia, and that was after I had graduated. Everything that I had done these past two years in Utah and everything I accomplished was made known to me. It all came to my memory in just this big rush.
I can't tell you how sad, or even depressed it makes me. I know I shouldn't dwell too much on past endeavors or whatever but just knowing that those memories are still in my head and can't be taken away gives me the greatest joy I've felt in a long while.
It's amazing how a simple song, a word, a smell, can bring us back to a memory of our past, whether that memory was good or bad. That memory is still a memory. If I listened to my 30 Seconds to Mars CD or any MCR song, my mind will instantly click back to a moment or the general time of my middle school/high school years (MCR was more of a middle school tomboy stage). If I tasted deviled eggs, I will instantly be back at my Great grandma's old house on Woodford Street for Thanksgiving. If I listened to an old R&B song, I would find myself back in Cali with my dad and my sister, driving around in my dad's black Lincoln with his big ol' speakers blaring in the back. If I listen to anything U2, it will take me right back to my high school yearbook class. I listen to Viva La Vida by Coldplay and I go back to the time when my sister, my uncle and I were making youtube videos when it was first popular.
But what I don't realize (and I think many of us do this) is what I'm making during these times. I don't realize that I'm making a sweet memory. It's not the huge, important events that make the memories; I think it's the time you feel most happiest that make those memories. And the reason people get sad thinking of those memories is maybe because they wish they could relive that memory just one more time. There is one time I've wanted to really relive a memory.
It was a memory of my sister and I sitting at a webcam and videoing ourselves screwing around, singing songs, and acting weird and it was right after EFY. I wish, with all my freaking being, that that memory can just be real again.
But I believe that our memories will be real again. Everything will be made known to us when we are in Heaven and it will be like the end of the most recent Les Miserables movie where everyone from the town is just singing and waving their flags of triumph and John Valjean smiles because he knows that he is home...and he's surrounded by everyone he loves. That is the Heaven I picture. And sure, call my lame for imagining something so perfect, but we've lived a life of absolute imperfection already so why should we expect anything less?
I don't know, I guess what I'm trying to say is don't worry about those memories that you think you may have lost. The one thing we can say is that we've made those memories, and those memories have made us who we are. One day we'll feel the sweetness or bitterness those memories brought us again (hopefully more of the former). Don't dwell on memories, but love them enough to say that you appreciate them to make you you.
-Ali :)
I was cleaning out my room today because, well, we are moving to another house, and I'm also going back to college in April. When I was cleaning out my room and putting things into boxes, I came across a few One Direction posters and a calender and plenty of other things that brought back the worst nostalgia I've ever had while going through old things. And by worst, I mean it was sad. It's happened once before, where I felt this sad nostalgia, and that was after I had graduated. Everything that I had done these past two years in Utah and everything I accomplished was made known to me. It all came to my memory in just this big rush.
I can't tell you how sad, or even depressed it makes me. I know I shouldn't dwell too much on past endeavors or whatever but just knowing that those memories are still in my head and can't be taken away gives me the greatest joy I've felt in a long while.
It's amazing how a simple song, a word, a smell, can bring us back to a memory of our past, whether that memory was good or bad. That memory is still a memory. If I listened to my 30 Seconds to Mars CD or any MCR song, my mind will instantly click back to a moment or the general time of my middle school/high school years (MCR was more of a middle school tomboy stage). If I tasted deviled eggs, I will instantly be back at my Great grandma's old house on Woodford Street for Thanksgiving. If I listened to an old R&B song, I would find myself back in Cali with my dad and my sister, driving around in my dad's black Lincoln with his big ol' speakers blaring in the back. If I listen to anything U2, it will take me right back to my high school yearbook class. I listen to Viva La Vida by Coldplay and I go back to the time when my sister, my uncle and I were making youtube videos when it was first popular.
But what I don't realize (and I think many of us do this) is what I'm making during these times. I don't realize that I'm making a sweet memory. It's not the huge, important events that make the memories; I think it's the time you feel most happiest that make those memories. And the reason people get sad thinking of those memories is maybe because they wish they could relive that memory just one more time. There is one time I've wanted to really relive a memory.
It was a memory of my sister and I sitting at a webcam and videoing ourselves screwing around, singing songs, and acting weird and it was right after EFY. I wish, with all my freaking being, that that memory can just be real again.
But I believe that our memories will be real again. Everything will be made known to us when we are in Heaven and it will be like the end of the most recent Les Miserables movie where everyone from the town is just singing and waving their flags of triumph and John Valjean smiles because he knows that he is home...and he's surrounded by everyone he loves. That is the Heaven I picture. And sure, call my lame for imagining something so perfect, but we've lived a life of absolute imperfection already so why should we expect anything less?
I don't know, I guess what I'm trying to say is don't worry about those memories that you think you may have lost. The one thing we can say is that we've made those memories, and those memories have made us who we are. One day we'll feel the sweetness or bitterness those memories brought us again (hopefully more of the former). Don't dwell on memories, but love them enough to say that you appreciate them to make you you.
-Ali :)
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