Growing Up/Migration
I love to watch birds the moment when they, one by one, lift off the ground and take flight for migration; it's such a wonderful sight. And then a more wonderful sight is when they actually are up in the air and you can see the pattern in which they turn and move into the direction they're supposed to go. It makes me think how much we, as humans, are just like those birds.
Why do geese fly together? We are just birds in a large flock of other birds, trying to find our place in this typical adventure. And we are taught that our place is right among the other birds, flying with them, and staying on the path to our destination. We leave on new journeys and sometimes we want to embark the new world on our own. We think we are capable of handling it because we are grown and we can do it. That's our fault.
I've just turned 19 about a couple of weeks ago, and in some ways, I'm like the bird who wants to fly alone. But mostly, I'm like the bird who wants to stay with the flock the whole ride. And why is it that I've always wanted this safety for myself? Why is it that I've always kept on a straight path...never got detention, never been in a fight, never ran away, never talked back to my teachers, never snuck out in the middle of the night? I don't think it's because I'm scared of what will happen if I did those things. I think it's because I'm comfortable doing the routinely things I'm used to. I'm not spontaneous in any way and I usually stick to a normal schedule. But sometimes I imagine if I was that kind of person, would life be easier or harder for me? And I don't have all the answers, so I couldn't tell you how it would be.
I'm scared for my future and everything that lies within it. Maybe that's considered a pessimistic way of thinking. But it's not all about my experiences I'll be living, but the person I will become. I know I've had the same personality I've always had. It hasn't changed much besides some taste in music, a bit of new diction, and my mind is much more consumed with thoughts nowadays it seems like. But I'm still the same, sweet, sensitive person I always was. And I'm scared that that will change, and sometimes I wonder if it doesn't change, how will my sweet personality fit in with the competitiveness of my job? I want to inspire, not degrade.
And my job isn't the only thing I'm stressing about, but keeping up with things, financially. I just have this strange paranoia that everything that involves responsibility for my adult future is going to hit me all at once like 1,000 bricks.
But that's life. One day we wake up with wrinkles on our face and think, what the heck happened? So, I guess my question is, what is a better fit? Living your life in your youth and flying solo, or let your life pass you by as you fly with the rest of the flock? I think my fears are showing because what I really am afraid of is not having the chance to really live my life. But if I were to live that solo life, would I be happy? I'm so comfortable living a life surrounded by people, I don't think I'd know what to do with a life alone.
But whether or not your prefer to ride solo or with the flock, here's the thing: there's always going to be a flock. They're always going to be together, and whether or not you decide to go with them, they are always noticeable in the sky, and you'll never lose your way with them. Maybe that flock is just there to give you the confidence to lift you feet off the ground and begin the flight for your migration. :)
Peace and Love.
Ali :)
Why do geese fly together? We are just birds in a large flock of other birds, trying to find our place in this typical adventure. And we are taught that our place is right among the other birds, flying with them, and staying on the path to our destination. We leave on new journeys and sometimes we want to embark the new world on our own. We think we are capable of handling it because we are grown and we can do it. That's our fault.
I've just turned 19 about a couple of weeks ago, and in some ways, I'm like the bird who wants to fly alone. But mostly, I'm like the bird who wants to stay with the flock the whole ride. And why is it that I've always wanted this safety for myself? Why is it that I've always kept on a straight path...never got detention, never been in a fight, never ran away, never talked back to my teachers, never snuck out in the middle of the night? I don't think it's because I'm scared of what will happen if I did those things. I think it's because I'm comfortable doing the routinely things I'm used to. I'm not spontaneous in any way and I usually stick to a normal schedule. But sometimes I imagine if I was that kind of person, would life be easier or harder for me? And I don't have all the answers, so I couldn't tell you how it would be.
I'm scared for my future and everything that lies within it. Maybe that's considered a pessimistic way of thinking. But it's not all about my experiences I'll be living, but the person I will become. I know I've had the same personality I've always had. It hasn't changed much besides some taste in music, a bit of new diction, and my mind is much more consumed with thoughts nowadays it seems like. But I'm still the same, sweet, sensitive person I always was. And I'm scared that that will change, and sometimes I wonder if it doesn't change, how will my sweet personality fit in with the competitiveness of my job? I want to inspire, not degrade.
And my job isn't the only thing I'm stressing about, but keeping up with things, financially. I just have this strange paranoia that everything that involves responsibility for my adult future is going to hit me all at once like 1,000 bricks.
But that's life. One day we wake up with wrinkles on our face and think, what the heck happened? So, I guess my question is, what is a better fit? Living your life in your youth and flying solo, or let your life pass you by as you fly with the rest of the flock? I think my fears are showing because what I really am afraid of is not having the chance to really live my life. But if I were to live that solo life, would I be happy? I'm so comfortable living a life surrounded by people, I don't think I'd know what to do with a life alone.
But whether or not your prefer to ride solo or with the flock, here's the thing: there's always going to be a flock. They're always going to be together, and whether or not you decide to go with them, they are always noticeable in the sky, and you'll never lose your way with them. Maybe that flock is just there to give you the confidence to lift you feet off the ground and begin the flight for your migration. :)
Peace and Love.
Ali :)
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