Spring Semester 2017
After the mission, there comes a time in your life where everything starts to flow back together again. For me, that was the Spring semester of 2017. Just 4 months off of my mission. These times are crucial.
I do remember how hard it was for me to find a job and how difficult the social scene was back at school. I was not only a weirdo around my friends (though somehow still the same) but dating was also a struggle.
There's this idea (especially now in our culture) that every return missionary NEEDS to get married 6 months to a year after their missions. Now, I applaud those who can actually manage to make that work. So, in some weird way, I thought that dating would be fairly easy, right? Wrong. I actually managed to get zero dates fall semester.
Was I doing anything wrong? At first, I thought yes. But what I learned from this experience of not dating was that the Lord placed me in the time that I needed to be with the people I needed to be for a reason. I needed to get the job that I did, I needed to cherish the memories with my friends that were graduating that next semester, and I needed to figure out my own self first. Imagine if I had been dating seriously. Who would have time for any of that other stuff?
Friends were the best part. I learned that your friends always know best. Trust in the Lord and when you are doing something for someone you care about, he will help you accomplish that thing. That's one of the reasons my 98 honda survived all the way to a trip to California for a wedding for a friend we hadn't seen in a really long time. It was a straight up miracle we were able to get there and back in one piece. He blessed us with tender mercies along the way and he answered my anxious prayers.
Another thing I experienced Spring semester was some depression. Now I don't share this topic lightly, but I share it because I feel like there are benefits to sharing. I didn't know I had depression. I didn't have it bad, but just enough to turn me into an emotional wreck some days. I learned a lot from this experience.
Number 1: Let it out. When you have a serious emotional problem, (I'm telling you, not just a bad day) there are times when you need to just accept that you are sad. When you try and lie to yourself and tell yourself everything is going to be okay, you are only prolonging the pain instead of dealing it right then and there!
Do you ever feel like when you are going through a really hard time in life, you choose to keep it in instead of let it out, and when you do this, you just know you are giving yourself more stress? Well, stawp!! This could give you cancer!
It's a pattern I've seen in myself and people I know and love. So my advice: ditch the "fake it til you make it" attitude cause in the end, you really won't make it if you do that. Just listen to your body. Take up yoga. Actually cry. Call your mom. Talk to your best friend. Try some breathing exercises!
Number 2: Be the best you you can be. Perfection and comparison. These tools are the sharpest in Satan's toolbox. We all are in the race against our best self and the race against other's best selves. Let's just accept that we aren't perfect. Know that not every day will be your best day. Even our best is still hard to achieve most days.
Number 3: What brings you closer to what you love the most? Something my counselor would do with me is whenever I would come with her to a problem I had, she would ask me what was most important to me? The next question followed: What could you do to bring you closer to that thing? It was a perfect formula for every scenario.
For me, that was my family. I have grown closer to my family being a return missionary than I have ever have in my life. The Lord definitely blessed me in that way. Things aren't always easy, but I really love them and know that God works through them to help me and he works through me to help them.
It might not work for everyone, but it reminded me what was really important. Things like that bring clarity back to your life instead of doubt, disbelief, second guessing, and anxiety. It brings truth and peace. In fact, reading The Book of Mormon helped me so much. If anything, the biggest thing that brings me clarity is that book. It really reminds me who I am and it reminds me of my purpose.
Friends can be the soothing Aloe Vera to life's many aches and burns. Family helps because they are always there; never gone. I don't know what I would do without my favorite people. God works through people, as I have learned time and time again. And he ALWAYS answers prayers. And he sure did Spring Semester of 2017.
There's this idea (especially now in our culture) that every return missionary NEEDS to get married 6 months to a year after their missions. Now, I applaud those who can actually manage to make that work. So, in some weird way, I thought that dating would be fairly easy, right? Wrong. I actually managed to get zero dates fall semester.
Was I doing anything wrong? At first, I thought yes. But what I learned from this experience of not dating was that the Lord placed me in the time that I needed to be with the people I needed to be for a reason. I needed to get the job that I did, I needed to cherish the memories with my friends that were graduating that next semester, and I needed to figure out my own self first. Imagine if I had been dating seriously. Who would have time for any of that other stuff?Friends were the best part. I learned that your friends always know best. Trust in the Lord and when you are doing something for someone you care about, he will help you accomplish that thing. That's one of the reasons my 98 honda survived all the way to a trip to California for a wedding for a friend we hadn't seen in a really long time. It was a straight up miracle we were able to get there and back in one piece. He blessed us with tender mercies along the way and he answered my anxious prayers.
Another thing I experienced Spring semester was some depression. Now I don't share this topic lightly, but I share it because I feel like there are benefits to sharing. I didn't know I had depression. I didn't have it bad, but just enough to turn me into an emotional wreck some days. I learned a lot from this experience.
Number 1: Let it out. When you have a serious emotional problem, (I'm telling you, not just a bad day) there are times when you need to just accept that you are sad. When you try and lie to yourself and tell yourself everything is going to be okay, you are only prolonging the pain instead of dealing it right then and there!
It's a pattern I've seen in myself and people I know and love. So my advice: ditch the "fake it til you make it" attitude cause in the end, you really won't make it if you do that. Just listen to your body. Take up yoga. Actually cry. Call your mom. Talk to your best friend. Try some breathing exercises!
Number 2: Be the best you you can be. Perfection and comparison. These tools are the sharpest in Satan's toolbox. We all are in the race against our best self and the race against other's best selves. Let's just accept that we aren't perfect. Know that not every day will be your best day. Even our best is still hard to achieve most days.Number 3: What brings you closer to what you love the most? Something my counselor would do with me is whenever I would come with her to a problem I had, she would ask me what was most important to me? The next question followed: What could you do to bring you closer to that thing? It was a perfect formula for every scenario.
For me, that was my family. I have grown closer to my family being a return missionary than I have ever have in my life. The Lord definitely blessed me in that way. Things aren't always easy, but I really love them and know that God works through them to help me and he works through me to help them.
It might not work for everyone, but it reminded me what was really important. Things like that bring clarity back to your life instead of doubt, disbelief, second guessing, and anxiety. It brings truth and peace. In fact, reading The Book of Mormon helped me so much. If anything, the biggest thing that brings me clarity is that book. It really reminds me who I am and it reminds me of my purpose.
Friends can be the soothing Aloe Vera to life's many aches and burns. Family helps because they are always there; never gone. I don't know what I would do without my favorite people. God works through people, as I have learned time and time again. And he ALWAYS answers prayers. And he sure did Spring Semester of 2017.
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